Last Christmas, I went to see the Secret Life of Walter Mitty with my husband and parents. Not only was this one of the sweetest and most heartfelt movies that I have seen in a long time, the subject matter was so appropriate for Panda's on-line dating journey. Walter Mitty (played by Ben Stiller) is a multifaceted, complex, extremely interesting guy, but he's also very shy and sometimes lives in his own extremely adventurous, but imaginary world. He becomes enamored with a woman at work, but can't bring himself to talk to her in person. So, he joins eHarmony, and tries to leave the girl a "wink". But the system won't let him because his profile is incomplete. Through a series of very funny phone calls with "Todd" at eHarmony, we learn that Walter hasn't done anything in life that is worthy of listing on his eHarmony profile. But as the movie progresses, Walter begins to have a wonderful real-life in the flesh adventure very worthy of putting in his profile. And, he gets the courage to talk to the woman at work. I don't want to give too much away, but you should watch this movie. I absolutely loved it. Trailer here.
When Panda called me a few months ago to talk about taking the plunge into on-line dating, I asked her to watch this movie, because Walter is basically her. Panda has spent a tremendous amount of time working on herself - she has her dream job. She's traveled a ton. She bought her dream house and created her dream garden there. She's tried all sorts of activities that, even 10 years ago, she wouldn't be caught dead doing - ziplining, snow boarding, ocean kayaking, indoor rock climbing, flying trapeze, camping with friends, etc., etc. She has herself in order. Now she is ready to invite someone to share her life with.
Her thought process was that she would possibly meet someone (a man) while doing all of these activities. She managed to meet an age inappropriate man on the boat to Catalina. But otherwise meeting guys while doing her activities was an unfortunate bust.
So, this brings us back to her calling me a few months ago to get some more encouragement to move forward with on-line dating. Panda likes to be in control of things, and opening herself up to meeting strangers and having strangers be all up in her business was a scary thing for her to wrap her brain around. I gather it is a somewhat scary thing for most normal people to wrap their heads around too. I mean, you are meeting strangers on-line, then giving them your phone number, email address, and in some cases, your physical address. Not exactly things to be taken lightly. But at the same time, you can't live your whole life in an insulated bubble either.
I explained to her that she can divulge as much or as little information at her discretion to the people she meets. She can take things slowly. She can control where and when she meets a person. And, that I would be with her all along the way to offer moral support, emotional support, and also to give her a swift kick in the ass. I did on-line dating, a lot, and in the end it really worked out spectacularly for me - I met my husband on eHarmony in February 2011, and we were married in October 2013.
Panda did a ton of research (in typical Panda fashion) to see which sites / apps she would want to try and she has settled on OkCupid and also eHarmony, with perhaps a little Match.com on the side a little later this summer. She sent me the beginnings of her profile, which I helped her jazz up a little (by adding some more of her personality into it). And, off she went!
She sent me some highlights from her first week on OkCupid. I guess I'm not shocked at the responses and communications she has received so far. Guys - if you are reading - show the girl that you have at least read part of the girl's profile. Be original. Use proper punctuation, sentences, and grammar. Put in some effort.
It is clear this guy didn't put any effort whatsoever into his note to Panda.Hi. .aren't you cute!
This one is slightly better. But, come on, spell out words - is it that difficult to include a "y" and "o" to spell you?_Happy Monday! amazing eyes and smile :) hope u will have an awesome day , and we can talk soon :)
Again with the "u". Maybe this one could elaborate on why he is interested in knowing Panda. Was it something she wrote in her profile? Her "amazing eyes and smile" that the other guy commented on?_I'm definitely interested in knowing you. Did you have a good weekend? What did u do? :)
It is a nice sentiment to tell Panda she's set the bar high for the other women out there. But does this guy want to meet her? Talk more with her? What? It is unclear from his note what his intentions are._WHAT A WOMAN!!!!
Sorry. That was my first impression. I'm just saying, you've set the bar very high for the other women out there.
Your admirer,
B.
This one gets points for being somewhat funny._"You're so pretty even a blind man can see it!"
OK, there's the obligatory cheesy line. Yes, I am legally blind. I really just wanted to say "Hi" and see if we could start a conversation and see where it goes. Obviously you caught my "eye."
I liked this one. It shows that he actually read her profile. He's trying to engage with her, and ask her questions. However, needs some work on the proper capitalization._ok, i have to admit that i originally read this, "Putting bandaids on cats". and i was like whoa, that has got to be really difficult. but then i re-read it as "cuts". either way, your profile sounds really cool. i'm always looking for new adventures in my life esp. as they relate to flying to another country. so, what was your favorite vacation ever and why?
_You have gorgeous hair!
So I know my age might be a problem but I hope you can see past it. Mi think we have many things in common :)
Anyways what's a beautiful girl like you going on this site?
Maybe he could tell her why she should see past his age - is he well traveled, an old soul, does he have some life experience that makes him wise for his age (Panda told me he was like 25 or something - which is on the young side for her to be dating). And maybe he could check his spelling.
Regardless of the quality or quantity of responses Panda is getting, she is challenging herself to partake in perhaps the greatest adventure of her life - the quest for love!
I got a follow-up email from her yesterday with the profile of a guy that she has started corresponding with. He is age appropriate, employed, and seems to share some of the same interests and values as Panda. I'm so curious to see how things progress with this one.
At the end of her email to me, Panda wrote, "Still not sure of this whole online dating thing but I will keep working on it. It certainly sucks a lot of time."
It certainly does suck a lot of time. But all good things usually do!
Can't wait for the next installment from Panda!
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