Dick tricks, dick snacks, big dicks, and dick pics

So, it's raining dicks lately.  Yes, we are surrounded by dicks of all kinds: people named Dick, people who are dicks, and actual dicks - they are everywhere.  Over the last few months I can't seem to escape dicks.

One day recently, a friend of mine was physically unable to put her phone down - texting ALL DAY LONG.  I finally asked her who she was texting and what was so important, and she got a big smile on her face and said she's been texting with a guy she met.  He was texting her dick pics.  Apparently this guy is fairly well endowed and he likes to send girls pics of his dick before they get too hot and heavy because many a girls have ended things with him because his dick is too large.  So, he sent her a pic of his dick covered up by a towel, but he's holding it so you can see the outline.  Then, he sent her a very clear pic of his dick all hard and naked.  It was big.

That got me thinking about dick pics and how ridiculous and hilarious they really are.  Seriously, guys, do you think about whether the girl (or guy) you are sending pic of your dick to ISN'T going to show it to other people, lots of other people?  Maybe you want others to see your dick.  I don't know.  I've never met a person who has received a dick pic who has ended up in a relationship with the owner of the dick.  I've written about dick pics before - here.

Seeing this friend's dick pics maybe made me more in tune to the various dick things around me...

It got me remembering a show I saw YEARS ago (in 2002) in San Francisco called Puppetry of the Penis.  Basically 2 dudes on stage doing origami with their dicks.  It was at the Theater on the Square in San Francisco.  These 2 dudes walked out onto the stage wearing capes and then proceeded to open up their capes to show off their nakedness and their dicks.  And, then proceeded to play with their dicks.  There were big screens on the sides of the stage and cameras that provided the audience with up-close and personal views of what the guys were doing with their dicks.  It was super random.  It was super weird.  It was a tad uncomfortable to watch.  But it was like a car accident or train wreck - you couldn't not watch.  They made such things as turtles, boomerangs, pelicans, baby birds, skateboards, and other everyday things with their dicks.  They really did.  There's even a book with graphic pictures.  And, of course, you can still get the book on Amazon (though as of this writing, it is temporarily out of stock).

I got my booked signed by the dicks themselves.  Dick Pics - left - Emu, right - hamburger

It is gross, awkward, and icky.  But you can't not look!

Then, watching Grey's Anatomy on TV one night recently, one of the story lines in the episode had a girl being brought into the ER and we learn that she is there due to a sex-accident.  She met a guy who was fairly well endowed, and she thought to herself that it was like Mt. Everest - it's there so you have to climb it.  Only, when she was climbing it (figuratively and literally), the guy slipped and landed on top of her and she dislocated her hip and had some other injuries that required surgery.  Needless to say, after surgery she left Mt. Everest behind.  Here's the episode recap.

That episode got me remembering about an episode of Sex and The City where Samantha met Mr. Cocky and he tells her that he's fairly well endowed.  Samantha also thinks of the Mt. Everest comparison and tries to climb the mountain.  Here's a clip.

I also remembered a scene in Magic Mike XXL where the Joe Managaniello character talks about how he hasn't had sex in many months because his dick is too big.  He's looking for his "glass slipper."  He finds it later in the movie.

Then I was remembering the Season 1 episode of Silicon Valley on HBO with the dick to floor ratio and mean jerk time - here's a clip on YouTube.  The Husband and I were almost falling out of our chairs when we watched that one.  It's just so hilarious and ludicrous and random and wrong, and you can't not watch...

And, in a recent episode of Silicon Valley, we've got gigantic horse dick.  Need to see the clip?- it's on YouTube.  It's gross, it's wrong, it's ludicrous, but you can't stop watching.

And, then there's the dick humor that is very prevalent in the show - including the logo - a guy sucking a dick with another dick tucked behind his ear - a snack dick.

As I said earlier, dicks are all around you.  You don't even have to seek them out - they're just there - on TV, in real life, the naked guys on Castro Street in San Francisco, your favorite TV show, in texts, on the road, in your hands, in your pants - they're everywhere, like the song from Izza Kizza.