A little on-line dating etiquette: part 1

So, in my humble opinion, with any activity comes some amount of etiquette.  For example, if someone invites you over for a meal, you probably wouldn't show up empty handed.  Or, you might behave differently in a business setting than you would with your friends.  My point is that most things / activities come with an inherent set of rules, expectations, manners - etiquette.

When joining an on-line dating web-site, one of the actions you need to take is to build your profile.  This involves answering some questions about yourself and posting some pictures.  The questions vary between the sites, but the general idea is to provide some information about yourself with the express purpose of catching someone's eye.

Here are some of my thoughts on on-line dating etiquette.  They are pertinent to both girls and guys.

1. Fill out your profile.  You've likely paid money to join the site, so take a few minutes and fill out your profile.  Please provide answers that are more than one word. Please use proper capitalization, grammar, and punctuation.  If in doubt, have a trusted friend review it before you make it active.
2. Please honest in your profile.  People can make themselves into anyone they want to be on-line.  If you fabricate who you are or what you like, when you meet someone in person, it will become apparent rather quickly that who you are in reality does not match who you are on-line.
3. If you have kids, say so.
4. Include a current, clear, decent picture.  Seriously, this is on-line dating.  No one is going to buy merchandise without seeing what it looks like first.  When you are shopping on-line for clothes, electronics, shoes, tools, etc., would you buy something you couldn't see?
• Note here - pictures should be clear, and CURRENT.  That picture from high school or from 20 years ago when you had hair are obviously old.  It will become apparent when you meet in person that you don't look like your profile picture.  See #2 above.
5. If someone "winks" at you, sends you an email, or initiates communication, respond in some way.  It takes only 2 seconds to click the link to send a polite "no thank you", or to click the link to archive the person.
• Think about it - do you like it when you leave a message, text, or email for someone and they never respond?  I didn't think so.  So, take 2 seconds to say no thank you if you aren't interested.
6. If you are communicating with a match and then decide you aren't interested or don't want to communicate any longer - be the adult that you are, and say so.  It takes only a minute to write a polite email saying thank you, but I don't think we are a match, and good luck with your search.
• A good example of this is from a recent match I'll call S.  S and I exchanged a few emails and seemed to have a lot in common.  After the 3rd or 4th email, I hadn't heard back from him in a few days.  A few days later, I received an email that said, "This a very difficult email to send because I really liked your responses, but I don't think it's fair to just hang out and not respond ... I actually met someone I'd like to pursue further. I don't know if it will work out, and I guess another course of action would be to not tell you this, keep pursuing, and find out who I liked more ... but that's really not my style. I'm simple, can't multi-task for shit, and don't think it's a fair or responsible way to go through life anyway. ... not a judgment, it's just the way I am. Like I said, I don't know if it will work out, but I didn't want you thinking that I just stopped responding because I didn't care.  Anyway, like I said, it's just not in my nature to leave things unspoken, or to try dating more than one person at a time. I hope you understand."
• It sucked a little (for me) that he met someone else and wanted to pursue it further, but that was remedied by the fact that he took a few minutes to let me know what was going on.
7. If you make plans to meet up, show up on time.  If you aren't interested or don't want to stay, or see that person again, just say so politely and then take your leave.
• I'll use one example from this past weekend that happened to a friend I will call Sparkles.  Sparkles had been texting and talking daily with this great guy.  They decided to meet up on Saturday night.  Guy was 3 hours late with no explanation.  Met Sparkles for 5 minutes, and then disappeared.  She texted him to ask if he had left and he responded that he had because of a "911 call from his brother."  They exchanged a few more texts, he said he'd call her later & that they would have coffee the next day & nada.  Sparkles was very upset.  He could have softened the blow some by telling her he had to leave, and then actually following through when he said he'd call her later.  If he wasn't interested, he could have just said so instead of behaving like an imbecile.
• An example from my adventures happened a few years ago.  After several emails and 2 phone conversations, I met this guy at the Academy of Science for one of their Thursday night events.  He was 20 mins late.  When he finally arrived, we had a drink and talked a little.  About 35 mins later, he stood right in my face, said that he didn't think there was any chemistry between us and that he was leaving.  He did an about face and literally walked right out of the Academy.  I was standing there a little dumbfounded.  I completely agree that there was no chemistry or interest there for me either, but come on - do you need to be that rude and abrupt in your departure?

I guess to sum it all up, be a decent human being.  Be true to yourself.  Be respectful of others.  Treat others how you want to be treated.

What do you think?