Adventure tale #2.
I met Pokey (not his real name), on Match.com in February 2009. His profile, from what I remember of it, was nice. He seemed interesting, and he seemed like a "real" person. We moved pretty quickly to emailing each other from our personal emails, outside the "big brother" of Match.com watching our every move. Our email exchanges were very robust and interesting. Pokey could definitely write well, using proper grammar and complete sentences (lots of points for him for that). He answered my questions, asked me new questions, and was just generally interesting. We even both commented on our collective astonishment at how people lie about themselves on-line all the time. It was cool that we both seemed to be on the same wave-length.
Pokey had done some traveling when he was a little younger, and was eager to do more of that. He was employed doing something he really enjoyed doing, and had several hobbies and interests outside of work. We met for the first time for breakfast on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Conversation flowed pretty well, and we had a good time. After breakfast, we ended going back to his place to talk some more. Pokey is a HUGE fan of jazz music. I am not. It was difficult to find something in his sea of jazz LPs that wasn't jazz and that was remotely interesting for me to listen to. We did, and settled on a listening to Men at Work (yes, a random choice). But, hey, admit it - "Down Under" and "Be Good Johnny" are catchy little diddies...
We talked for about 2 more hours, then I called it a day and headed home to play with my brand new Mac laptop! We went out to dinner the next week at a little French bistro near his apartment. Dinner was yummy. When the check came, he asked if I could cover the tip - which I did. Then we went to a place for dessert, which I paid for. Then picked up some bubbly and went back to his place to talk some more. Again, found it challenging to find some non-jazz music to listen to. Here's where my indecision became more indecisive. I had 2 glasses of bubbly, and didn't really want any more. Yet, Pokey insisted on pouring me more. When I said I didn't want it, he was kind of offended, and peer pressured me into drinking it. After I did, I decided to call it a night. He walked me to the train, and I was on my merry way.
We started talking on the phone most days, and emailing too. Still great conversation and emails, but I wasn't really feeling the chemistry with him yet. I was still really on the fence. Nice guy, worth a 3rd date. So, we go out again for dinner. He orders a beer (at the time I wasn't really into beer). He asked if I wanted a taste of it, I politely declined. He peer pressured me again into tasting it. So, I took a sip, it was not to my liking, and I gave it back to him. I was getting kind of annoyed with this peer pressure stuff, but willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. For our subsequent dates, we kind of took turns paying.
We go out for a 4th date - dinner again. Then we met up with a friend of mine for some jazz music at a club on Haight Street. I very strongly dislike jazz music. I suggested it because I thought he would enjoy it, and I can put up with just about anything for a few hours. He had a good time, and I did too. When my friend arrived, he bought us both a drink (points for him), and made an effort to get to know my friend and talk with her. At the end of the show, we shared a cab to his place to drop him off. I got out of the cab with him and gave him a hug, and we shared a peck on the mouth. I was starting to think that I might like him, but still wasn't really feeling chemistry, but thought it might be coming...
We go out for a 5th date - dinner again, and then pub trivia at a local bar. Dinner was nice, got peer pressured again into trying his icky beer. Trivia was ok. My 2 guy friends didn't give him too much crap, and we had an enjoyable time. Still no chemistry though.
We go out for a 6th date - dinner again (just the 2 of us), then drinks with a few of my friends. Dinner was interesting - he suggested sushi (though he doesn't like it). I LOVE sushi, so won't refuse. But, I know Pokey didn't like sushi, and suggested somewhere else. He said nope, we would go to sushi, and he would get something non-sushi on the menu... Ok. So, we go to sushi. It was a very warm May evening. The entire time at dinner, he kept tickling my knee. I'm quite ticklish and don't really love being tickled. I told him as much in a serious way, and asked him to please stop doing that. He must have had a large build-up of wax in his ear because he kept tickling me. One time, ok. Two times, ok. But three, four, five times - not so ok with me. As we walked out of the restaurant and over to the bar, he graduated from tickling my knee to poking my side (hence the nickname, Pokey). The first time he did it, I asked him to cut it out. The second time he did it, I hit his arm with my elbow. We get to the bar and meet my friends. He buys me a drink. I finish my drink. He asks if I want another one, I declined and said I wanted water. He made fun of me for drinking water in a bar. He ordered a scotch or something and peer pressured me (again) into trying it. And kept poking me. Repeatedly. He also kept asking me if I was having a good time (I was). The 4th time he asked me that, I asked him the same question. Turns out he wasn't feeling that particular bar, so we went somewhere else. We sit down at a table at the new location and he starts tickling my knee again. Seriously. I was thinking this guy is either seriously deaf, has major short-term memory loss, ear wax build-up, or really is delusional that tickling me will turn me on and that I will attack him in a fit of horny-ness.
My friend noticed the tension when he kept tickling me and decided to give us a few minutes alone. He proceeded to peer pressure me into having more of his icky beer. At that point, I said, "Pokey, what part of 'no' don't you understand?" He seemed a bit taken aback by my question and stopped asking me to drink his drink. But, he kept poking and tickling me. Maybe he thought that when I told him to stop that I was just kidding and my "STOP please" was really "I love that, and please please keep doing it."
Around midnight, I'd had enough of this poking and tickling. Pokey had to to go. My friend and I walked out with him, walked him to the train-stop and said good bye. After that pokey evening, I was done. The chemistry wasn't going to come, and at that point, I was completely irritated. I needed to call on my good friend Gumby to take his pony pal Pokey into a book and put him to pasture.
Pokey called me for another date the next week. I broke one of my etiquette rules and didn't call him back for the date (my bad). He was out of town the following week, and never called me when he got back. About a month later, he sent me an email asking what was up. I responded the same day and said that I didn't think we were right for a romantic relationship and that I wished him good luck in his search.
Pokey, pokey, pokey. When someone says no, respect that. When someone asks you to stop poking them, just stop it, ok? This isn't the most adventurous dating tale I have, but it resonates with me a little. When I was younger, I used to poke my sister ALL THE TIME. She hated it. Intensely. I couldn't understand why she hated it so much until I had to endure just one little one evening of it. I called her after that date and apologized profusely and told her I would not poke her again. I might have had one or 2 more pokes in me, but I can completely appreciate how annoying it is and solemnly vow not to poke her again. Sorry Sugarcoat for poking you so much when we were younger. Lesson learned.
Until the next adventure!
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