The 100th Monkey effect

So, I had an acupuncture appointment last week, and my wonderful and amazing acupuncturist was telling me about a speaker she hosted over the weekend.  This speaker, Oberom, shared his thoughts on the process of breaking limiting belief patterns and living in loving awareness.  I didn't attend his workshops, but heard about them during my treatment.  My acupuncturist, I'll call her Triathlete, told me that Oberom brought her to tears when describing the 100th monkey effect and how it can impact humans.  For more on this, click here, and here, and here.

I have never heard of this 100th monkey effect, so I asked Triathlete to tell me about it.  She said, basically, that some researchers in Japan were observing monkeys eating sweet potatoes.  The researchers would toss sweet potatoes to monkeys on this one specific island.  The monkeys ate the sweet potatoes that were covered in sand from where the researchers tossed them.  Then, one young monkey had the idea to wash the sweet potato before eating it.  This monkey taught this behavior to other monkeys in the group.  Soon, many many monkeys were washing their sweet potatoes before eating them.  Then before the researchers knew it, almost 100 monkeys were observed washing their sweet potatoes.  Then presto! change-o! monkeys on other islands were suddenly washing their food before eating it.  This "100th monkey effect" purports that the idea to wash food before eating it reached a critical mass, and the idea became "energy" or "awareness" that was floating around "out there" and suddenly all of the other monkeys picked up on it.

Triathlete told me that Oberom used this theory in his discussion about a theoretical / fictional homeless person sitting on the street.  What if there was a homeless person sitting on a corner somewhere, struggling with some kind of addiction.  Every day people walk by this person and think negative thoughts about him/her.  But what if one day, one person who walked by thought, "wow, wouldn't it be great if that homeless person got help, and pulled themselves into a better situation."  What if the next day, someone else thought something positive about that homeless person.  Then, the next day someone else thought something positive, and the next day, and the next day, and the next, until almost 100 people thought something nice about this homeless person.  Then, one day, the homeless person got up and was walking toward a treatment center to finally get the help he/she needed.  Then, just as the homeless person was about to get to the center, someone walked by and thought something negative about the homeless person, and that destroyed the motivation he/she had to get help.  Imagine if that last person who walked by thought something positive, and that was the 100th monkey effect propelling this homeless person to get help.

I'm not sure I buy into this 100th anything effect creating a critical mass of idea-energy and others instantaneously picking up on it, but it got me thinking.  How could this "effect" or idea have an impact on dating, on people, on life?

Trying something new, adopting a new behavior or belief, speaking out for or against something, can be greatly influenced by those around us.

Imagine a person being bullied.  If one, then another, then another, then another person stuck up for that bullied person, could a critical mass be reached where that person is no longer bullied?

Imagine if a serial dater or a serial hook-up-er picked up on the wishes of the people they serially dated or hooked-up with.  Imagine if the wishes of those people were that the serial dater/hook-up-er would finally commit.  If those wishes reached a critical mass for the serial dater/hook-up-er, maybe their behavior would change, and they would finally be able to commit or have a serious, monogamous, long-term relationship.

Imagine if guys everywhere miraculously stopped observing the 3-day rule before calling a girl for a 2nd date, and started asking them out for a 2nd date on the 1st date?  It might take more than 100 guys doing this to reach critical mass to change behaviors everywhere.  But it could start with just one guy making a change.

Imagine if dating people told the people they dated honestly and openly if they weren't interested in going on another date.  How much heartache would that cure?

I guess, for me, it boils simply down to treating other people the way you want to be treated.  I, personally, like people to be nice to me.  I don't like to be yelled at, given "attitude", disrespected, ignored, bullied, pressured, lied to, etc.  I try, and work hard, to treat people (some of whom aren't as deserving as others) the way I want to be treated.  Sometimes it comes naturally because the person is treating me the way I want to be treated, so it is easy to treat them the same.  Sometimes, it is not nearly as easy.  That person who is tailgating you.  That person who is rude to you.  That person who is disrespectful.  That guy who didn't call.  It would be so very easy to treat them exactly how they are treating you.  But, maybe, just maybe you can be the first monkey to wash that sweet potato before eating it.  It's something new.  It isn't accepted (yet).   People might look at you funny.  People might think you are strange or crazy.  But if you exhibit a behavior, and someone emulates you.  Then another, then another, then another, and another emulate you too, before you know it, you might be the inspiration for a sea change in the world.  Or just maybe a small change.  But change, is change, and it needs to start somewhere. 

All of this reminds me a little of a commercial I see on TV periodically.  It is for an insurance company, and it illustrates people helping people, and inspiring others to do the same - click here.

What can you take away from my ramblings tonight - be nice to people.  Sometimes it might be easier not to be nice.  But, don't take the easy way out.  Just be nice, even if it is hard.

Until next time...  As Ted said, in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, "Be excellent to each other."