So, I've written a few times about my thoughts and ideas on on-line dating etiquette (click here for part 1 and click here for part 2). It's amazing to me at what some people consider an actual dating profile. One word answers and bullshit information that doesn't give anyone any sense of who the person is does not a profile make. If you are paying for an on-line dating service, why not make the most of it?
And profile pictures, don't even get me started. I pulled this gem off of a profile a while back. I was quite stymied.
Seriously. This was the guy's ONLY picture on his profile. So, what guy is it? The blurry guy? The partially obstructed guy next to the blurry guy? Or the miniscule guy behind the partially obstructed guy next to the blurry guy? Better yet, my money is on the guy who took this masterpiece. Yep, he's so good you can't even see him.
Another profile picture gripe is using a picture that is so not current. I saw one a long time ago that was so obviously from the mid-1980s - super short too tight shorts, a polo shirt, and a mullet. Eeeew. I mean, please guys (and girls). Pictures should illustrate what you actually look like in this decade, preferably in the current year. Please stop trying to live in the past. We can tell when an old picture is scanned.
In my opinion, another photo no-no is using pictures of you with a person of the opposite sex. You are hopefully on these web-sites to meet someone of the opposite sex. Don't pose with one in your profile pictures. Even if it is your "sister," "cousin," etc. Kind of a turn off. We can also tell when you crop out other girls / guys from your pictures.
Something else that irks me about profile pics is when people post pictures of their pets. I think it is great that you have a 4-legged companion. But, we're here to meet you, not your dog, cat, horse, fish, rabbit, etc.
Be honest. Post a real picture of YOU. It will become very clear very quickly if we ever meet in person that the person in your picture isn't you, or isn't you right now.
Regarding the actual profile text... Yes, each site is slightly different in set-up, but bottom line, you need to provide information about you that hopefully is honest, interesting, funny, and eye catching so that other people want to get to know more about you. Writing profiles can sometimes be challenging and difficult, but it doesn't have to be. Ask your friends for help. Ask your family members for help. Ask someone for help. Don't just write one word. Or don't write nothing. Please.
My sister, Sugar Coat, is a genius at spicing up dating profiles. A while back she gave mine the one over. She didn't write it for me, but took what I already wrote and spiced it up a little, rejuvenated it, freshened it up.
For example, my answer to "the first thing people notice about me" was "I'm really not sure - you tell me!" BORING.
My spiced-up answer was, "My round-off back hand-spring triple twisting triple layout… then my smile and my sparkling personality, of course." SPICY. And, completely honest. I did gymnastics for 10 years. Granted, I can't currently do a round-off back hand-spring triple twisting triple layout, but at one time, I could actually do a round-off back hand-spring back flip. Can't do it any more, but I could do it at one time.
My answer to "the last book I read and enjoyed" was, "One of my favorite books is Catch 22 - read it a very long time ago, but it resonated with me. Cause & effect / what do you do / how do you react? Quite interesting. Loving Stieg Larsson's Trilogy - Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire, and just started Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Love Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, Charlaine Harris, Orson Scott Card. Basically love to read." All true. I love to read. The answer was true to me, but not noteworthy.
My spiced up answer was, "Seriously? How much time do you have? I LOVE reading. Some favorite authors are Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, and Kathy Reichs." SPICY. Still all true, still "me." I love to read. I have at least one book going at any given time, and sometimes two.
Sugarcoat worked some of her spicy magic on a good friend's profile. My favorite line from the spiced up version is this, "So basically, if you are a quiet homebody who hates sports, we are probably soul mates." I was literally laughing out loud when I read this. It really speaks to her personality, and is super funny. Very much her.
Bottom line, spend a little bit of time on your profile. Let your personality shine through. Use actual sentences. Use spell check. Ask someone to proof read it for you. No one is perfect, and we all have the occasional typo here and there. But, come on, if your profile is littered with errors, it is probably garbage.
Shameless plug time. For my fellow on-line daters, or prospective on-line daters, if you would like some spicing up of your on-line dating profile, Sugarcoat may be able to help you out... Sugarcoat is also an excellent photographer. If you are in the Los Angeles area, and are in need of some AMAZING pictures that actually look like you and are current, drop her a line. You won't be disappointed. Send her an email here: spicyprofiles@gmail.com
Until next time, stay classy, stay real, stay you! You are amazing just the way you are!
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