Pee-Pee Pics

So, I know it's been a while since I've posted here, but, well, it is summer.  I'll leave it at that.

Hope summer is treating you all well so far.  So far, for me, it's been great. 

• I've been spending some amazing quality time with Molecule (yes, I'm still having fun with Science - click here and here and here to read about having fun with science).  It's been doubly great because he lives far enough from San Francisco that it is actually warm and summer-like.  The other weekend we actually went swimming at 11pm - something you can't do in San Francisco in summer - way too cold.
• I took a vacation with a group of friends and witnessed some of the same dating shenanegins on the East Coast as we have here on the West Coast
• I went to my sister's wedding with Molecule
• And, I've been spending time with my gang of friends

I've been thinking about a few topics to write about here, and the first one I'll try to tackle is the "Pee-Pee Pic" as I've coined them.

What is a Pee-Pee Pic, you might ask?  Well, it is a term I've coined for pics that get texted or emailed to you of a pee-pee, wiener, penis, etc.

I have several friends (girls and guys) who have received full-frontal pee-pee pics from guys they are getting to know.  Yeah, "getting to know" is a bit of an understatement.

Having friends who receive these types of pictures repeatedly made me wonder - really - what possesses a guy to send a picture of their junk, ESPECIALLY including their face?  Have they not learned a lesson from Brett Favre (click here to see/hear - pee-pee pics at approximately the 2:08 mark) or, more recently, Anthony Weiner (2 of his pee-pee pics below)?  I mean, people talk, and people share, so OF COURSE, pics of junk are going to be shared and spread faster than the clap.

Whatever happened to waiting a bit and uncovering the pee-pee slowly?  When you get a preview via text, does it spoil all the fun of getting to know what's down there over the natural course of time?  If the pee-pee is overly small or misshapen in some way, would that preclude you from sending a pee-pee pic?  What if the recipient doesn't like what he or she sees?  I know, I know, so many questions.  But, seriously, pee-pee pics crack me up.

And, the pee-pee pics aren't limited to men...  Girls can share their own version of the pee-pee pic too...

The same questions I have for the guy pics apply to the girl pics too...  After you hit send, are you worried about what the guy will think of your goods?  Too big?  Too fake?  Too small?

I don't know.  In this day and age, pics can go viral over text and the internet.  Do you want your goods exposed for all to see?

When I was about 18 years old, there was a guy that worked at the tuxedo rental store in the mall next to the store where I worked.  For some reason, he liked to pull his pee-pee out and wag it around quite frequently.  In my opinion, it wasn't all that good looking, and was a little offensive.  I really was curious as to why he would whip it out and wag it around all the time...  I'm still curious about that one...

When I was around 19, I went on vacation with two friends to Palm Springs.  This was during the time when the ONLY place to be for Spring Break was in Palm Springs.  One of the friends' boyfriends came to visit us while we were there.  Silly me left my camera laying around, and the boyfriend took a few snaps of his pee-pee.  This was before the digital camera age, and I only discovered the pee-pee pic after getting my film (yes, film) developed.  While I was the recipient of the pee-pee pic because it was taken with my camera, I don't know if I was the actual intended recipient.

I've been shown pee-pee pics that friends have received, and honestly, they literally make me laugh out loud.  There is something a little nasty, forbidden, audacious, and presumptuous about it.  And, they are funny.  Really funny.  Laugh out loud funny.

Since the modern texting era, the closest I've come to receiving a pee-pee pic from a guy is a pic of a guy without a shirt on.   Very PG in my opinion.  It actually made me laugh out loud when I received it.

I've never sent a pee-pee pic, nor do I plan to (especially one where you can see my face or other unique identifying marks).  I prefer to see and show the goods in person.  I'll continue to laugh uncontrollably when friends share the pee-pee pics that they receive though.  It's great comic relief.

What do you think?

Until next time.

Districts have boundaries

Adventure tale #12

So, when looking at maps one can't but help to see the demarcation lines separating states, countries, cities, and districts.  This little diddy is about District Boy.

I met District Boy (District for short) on eHarmony in November 2010.  His profile caught my eye and I initiated communication.  In his profile he wrote that he was interested in archaeology, family, family history, equestrianism, that he is a self-starter, and that, and I'm quoting here, "I am looking for someone that knows what they want and how to figure out the steps to achieve their goal and not let any degree of difficulty of achieving it make them have second thoughts or doubt themselves."  He wrote that the things he can't live without are, "family, paycheck, internet, my cat, Dr. Pepper."  Many things about what he wrote intrigued me - a guy who is into horses, cats, history, and Dr. Pepper?  I want to know more...  We moved through the guided process pretty quickly and got to the email stage, made plans, and had our first date.

We met for drinks at District wine bar.  It was very crowded, as it was a Friday night close to 6:30pm - prime happy hour time.  So, we ended up walking over to Tres Agaves and had a drink, and ended up eating a little food too (he paid).  The conversation flowed nicely, and it seemed like we had a lot in common.  After dinner, we walked over to District and found a place to sit, and had a glass of wine.  He had his shirt sleeves rolled up and I saw a bit of a tattoo peaking out on one of his arms.  I couldn't help but ask what it was and if I could see it.  So, he rolled up his sleeve and showed me - it was a portrait of a horse with the caption "Nasty Kate" below it.  Turns out it was his first horse, named Kate, and she could be a bit nasty sometimes...  Kind of funny.  He had 2 other tattoos, but I didn't see them that night.  I picked up the tab at District.  At around 11-ish, he was very visibly tired and we both kind of suggested we leave.  He was tied to the CalTrain schedule, as he lived a little outside SF, and didn't have a car.  He walked me to my car, and I drove him over to CalTrain.  Our parting was a little awkward.  We hugged and said goodbye, then he got out of the car and shut the door.  A little abrupt, I thought.  He texted me a little while later apologizing for the awkwardness of his departure and said he had a great time and to please let him know that I got home safely.  I thought that was sweet.

We started exchanging emails outside of eHarmony, and a few days later, went on our 2nd date.  He took me to Houston's on the Embarcadero (one of his favorite restaurants).  We met at the Ferry Building, had a glass of wine, then walked over to the restaurant and had a lovely dinner (he paid).  Then we went over to Pier 23 after dinner for a night cap (I paid), and then he walked me back to the street car so I could get home.  He actually walked me into the metro station - no one had ever done that before.  Very sweet.  He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and asked that I let him know I got home safely.  I texted him, "Home safe, although saw a skunk & spider on my way. Yikes! Had a great time. We should get together again sometime soon! Hope your journey is safe & quick!"  He replied, "Glad you made it home safely. And skunk-free too! I had a great time. Thanks for taking over during my brain shutdown. Let's try to work something out this week if it's not too soon. Sleep well."

A few days later, we went out again - this time to a movie and dinner.  He bought tickets (in advance) for Harry Potter, and had me meet him at the theater.  It was November 23, and I remember that it was FREEZING cold outside.  The theater was also FREEZING cold too.  I had to pull my jacket over me to stay warm during the movie.  After the movie, as we are collecting our things to leave, he took my jacket off of my lap and helped me into it - so sweet!  We then walked over to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner.  District remarked during the walk that he was going to try and hold my hand in the movie, but it was so cold that he couldn't.  I think he was sitting on his hands the whole time.  It was funny.  So, we get to the restaurant and have a nice dinner and conversation.  As we finished up (he paid), we stepped outside and were talking for a few minutes.  As we were talking, this man who was standing on the street turned around and said to District, "I recognize that laugh..."  Turns out it was a co-worker of his who was waiting for a ride from some other co-worker of theirs.  District introduced me and we talked for a few minutes.  The cold was really getting to all of us, and I mentioned that because it was so cold and late, that I was going to take a cab home rather than the bus.  District hailed a cab for me.  He helped me into the cab, and I turned around to give him a hug goodbye, and I planted a little kiss on his lips - no tongue or anything, but a nice little kiss.  It was funny, as I pulled away, he looked dumbfounded, shocked, and like he couldn't really make sense of what just happened.  I thanked him for dinner and the movie and said I'd talk to him later.  I got in the cab, and off I went.  I texted him when I got home, and he replied that he made the train with 1 minute to spare.  I commented that it was good that he made it and didn't have to wait another hour for the next train.  He replied that he was glad he made it too, and then sent another text with, "you looked absolutely beautiful tonight. And every time I've seen you."  I replied, "Thank you! That is so sweet & nice to hear!"

He called me about 10 minutes later and gave me some backstory on the guy from the street and the co-worker he was waiting for.  Turns out the guy had a huge crush on the co-worker, and she constantly strings him along.  Sad.  Anyways, District decided not to rain on the co-worker's parade, and walked back to the office to get his stuff, and then walked to CalTrain to get home.

We continued chatting, texting, and emailing throughout November.  For Thanksgiving, I went to my Brother's house and was away from Thursday through Saturday.  District texted me a few times here and there over the weekend, and then on Saturday, he sent, "Good afternooooooon! I hope you had lots of sleep and are well rested. Not to be demanding or anything but hurry up and get home so I can see you sooooooon!"  I replied and we made plans for Sunday.  We spoke that night when I got home, and then again on Sunday.  We met that afternoon and had dinner, then went to see a movie.  Dinner was at the Daily Grill (he paid), and then we were going to walk to the movie theater.  As we were exiting the restaurant, he asked permission to hold my hand.  It was so sweet.  Of course I allowed him to, and we held hands on our walk to the theater.  As we were taking the escalator up to the theater, he asked if he could ask me a question, but that it might make me uncomfortable.  I told him he should just ask away.  So, we're on the escalator, and he said something like, "Last week when I put you in the cab, did you mean to kiss me?  Was it intentional?  It took me totally off guard and I didn't know what to make of it."  I said, "Yes, it was intentional."  I my mind I was thinking - how can a kiss be unintentional?  I didn't slip and catch my fall with his mouth...  He said, "Oh, ok.  In that case, I need to give you a proper kiss right now."  Right at that point, we were at the top of the escalator, and people were all around.  I said, "Right now?  There are all kinds of people around."  He said, "I don't care."  And then he kissed me right there with everyone to see.  I was thinking, well, ok.  I like this.  So, we kissed, then went to the movie.  After the movie, we walked to the metro station.  I was getting on in 1 direction, him in the other.  As my train arrived, he grabbed me and planted another kiss on my lips, and asked me to text him when I got home.  As I'm about a block from my place, my phone rings, and it was District.  Apparently, he missed the last CalTrain home and was stranded in SF.  It was Sunday evening around 11pm-ish.  He said he would try to call a friend or sleep at the office.  I said that I'd be happy to drive him home (I didn't really want to do it, but I would have), or he could stay with me.  I made it clear that it was sleeping that we'd do, and no funny business (i.e. sex).  He seemed nervous about it.  I said, just get a cab and come over and I texted him my address.  He responded, "Omw... I just want you to know this is a huge step for. I hope this means we'll get married soon.  What would my mother say?"  I responded, "Me too. Big step. Well, sometimes you have to take big risks to reap big rewards... let's not think about what the parents will say."  So, he got here.  Nervous.  We sat on the couch, he asked permission to put his arm around me, of course I gave it.  Then it was bed time.  I loaned him a t-shirt and some boxers, and we got into bed.  We made out a little, cuddled a little, and then went to sleep.  Man, does District snore.  I did not sleep at all.  Of course, I had to get up on Monday morning and work (granted I work from home, but I was still working).  He stayed in bed.  Jealous.  It was cute - I was working in the livingroom, and he texted me "you work too much."  It was funny.  I had a lull in my day, so around noon, we went to lunch at a place in my 'hood, and I walked him to the street car stop so he could get home.  It was a nice sleepover except for the fact that I didn't sleep.  I'm the world's lightest sleeper (really, the world's - you can look in Guinness Book of World Records).  Absolutely cannot sleep when a person is snoring at 10,000 decibels.  No can do.

That week, we had a pretty cute text exchange where we established that we "liked" each other.  He texted, "Wanna shoot for a possible sleep over at you place tomorrow? (yes, I'm inviting myself over)"  I said, "Sure! I would really like that! You could bring what you need for Thursday, except you don't need a toothbrush because you already have one here :-)"  He responded, "Hahaha ok. Sounds like a plan. So I guess this means you like me, huh? Or do you need to try some other things out before you decide? Just remember: you break it you buy it. ;)"  I responded, "Yes, I like you!  Same for you - you break it, you buy it, and you will have to contend with my sister.  I guess this means you like me too?"  He replied, "Only if I can to try before I buy. I like to squeeze the goods you know! Just kidding. Yes, District likes you. Or District + You. Heh."  We exchanged a few witty, innuendo-filled texts, and then the next day arrived, and he came over after work.  We went to grab some dinner, then came back to my place, and watched a little TV, and then one thing led to another, and yes, we sealed the deal.  Twice.  During the 2nd sealing of the deal, we had a conversation (random, yes) where we decided we were in a "committed, monogamous relationship."  So, that was that - I had a committed monogamous relationship after a sum total of 4 dates - woo hoo!

I saw District again a few days after that.  We met for lunch, went to look at an apartment downtown for him (he was trying to move back to SF), and then came back to my place and sealed the deal some more.  He had to scoot on home because I was entertaining some girlfriends that night and it was girls only.  We talked over the next few days, and the following week, it's now December 10, I picked him up from work and took him to the apartment he was going to rent so he could sign the lease, get the keys, and have a late lunch with me.  It was during this time that he got VERY busy with work.  He was a web developer for a non-profit, and they were doing some software release and it wasn't going well.  He was working a lot and exhausted.  So, I pick him up, we get to the apartment, he signs the lease, we go have lunch.  We went back to the apartment so he could look at it a little more before he went home.  We kind of made out a little while we were there, and things got a little heated.  I started to pull off his coat and shirt, and he stopped me saying he had to get home and get back to work.  I was slightly annoyed, but whatever, so I stopped.  Then we went back into the kitchen to get our things to leave, and he starts making out with me again.  Then, he started pulling my clothes off and we ended up sealing the deal.  It was kind of comical.  We got dressed, and I drove him to ore CalTrain so he could go home and work some more.  He even fell asleep in the car ride over to CalTrain.  That was the last time I actually saw District.

We spoke, texted, and IMed over the next few weeks.  He tried to make plans with me several times, but each time the plans were foiled because of his work.  I was getting annoyed, but I understood.  I get very busy at work too, but it just sucked.  I was leaving for Southern California for Christmas and we were trying to get together before I left.  It didn't work out.  I was at a dinner party with friends the day before I left, and District called me and we spoke for about 20 mins.  He said that he didn't think it was a good idea to have breakfast in the morning because he'd only be thinking about all of the work he had to do that day, and that it wouldn't be fair to me.  So, he flaked.  He said "I'm just too busy for this."  I got alarmed, and needed him to clarify what "this" was - the committed monogamous relationship, or breakfast the next morning.  He said breakfast, not the relationship.  It put me somewhat at ease for the moment.  We talked again that night when I got home, then a few times while I was in Southern California.  He called me each day for the first 3 days, then I called him each day the next 2 days.  Then I didn't hear from again while I was away, much to my chagrin.  I texted him the day I was flying home to see if he wanted to get together that night for smooches and drinks.  No response.  I called him as I was driving home from the airport, and got his VM.  No response, no call back.  At that point, I was a little pissed.

The next morning - December 29th - he texted me "Hey, sorry I missed ya last night. I forgot my phone when I went to the office. Will you be around for a talk this morning? I'll have a break around 11:30am."  Right then I thought - ok - he's supposed to be on vacation, why is his phone at the office.  I also thought - his cell is the ONLY phone he has, there's no way he left it at the office.  And what does "talk" mean?  A talk or a TALK???  I responded that I would be available.  So about 11:45am, he calls and basically says he's too busy for this, he needs to focus on his career, and he's done with our committed monogamous relationship.  We talked for about 20 minutes, and he just kept saying over and over that he was too busy, but that nothing had changed, but that he was too busy...  He said, "I know this is a lot to digest in the few minutes that we've been talking.  If you want to talk in a few days, I can call you."  I said, "If you feel like you have time to talk and you want to call, I might be around."  And then I hung up.  I was pretty upset that he ended our 2-month relationship so abruptly, and also pissed.  I went out with friends that night, and called a friend with whom I had benefits, and tried to make the most out of a kind of crappy situation.  I never heard from District again.  I sent him an email about a week later asking him to help me better understand what happened - did he meet someone, did something change, etc. - and he didn't respond.  I kind of thought he would because he seemed like a pretty stand-up guy, but guess I was wrong about that.

Districts have boundaries, and I guess somehow we got out of bounds.  I'm happy that I did go out of bounds with this one because I met Molecule about a month later and I'm still having fun with Science!!!!!

Moral of the story - sometimes guys suck.  (And for you male readers out there, sometimes girls suck too).  And, having some perspective now, when one door closes, many more doors may close, but one might just open up and be spectacular!  I guess that's the hopeless romantic in me coming out.

Even more on-line dating etiquette: part 3

So, I've written a few times about my thoughts and ideas on on-line dating etiquette (click here for part 1 and click here for part 2).  It's amazing to me at what some people consider an actual dating profile.  One word answers and bullshit information that doesn't give anyone any sense of who the person is does not a profile make.  If you are paying for an on-line dating service, why not make the most of it?

And profile pictures, don't even get me started.  I pulled this gem off of a profile a while back.  I was quite stymied.

Seriously.  This was the guy's ONLY picture on his profile.  So, what guy is it?  The blurry guy?  The partially obstructed guy next to the blurry guy?  Or the miniscule guy behind the partially obstructed guy next to the blurry guy?  Better yet, my money is on the guy who took this masterpiece.  Yep, he's so good you can't even see him.

Another profile picture gripe is using a picture that is so not current.  I saw one a long time ago that was so obviously from the mid-1980s - super short too tight shorts, a polo shirt, and a mullet.  Eeeew.  I mean, please guys (and girls).  Pictures should illustrate what you actually look like in this decade, preferably in the current year.  Please stop trying to live in the past.  We can tell when an old picture is scanned.

In my opinion, another photo no-no is using pictures of you with a person of the opposite sex.  You are hopefully on these web-sites to meet someone of the opposite sex.  Don't pose with one in your profile pictures.  Even if it is your "sister," "cousin," etc.  Kind of a turn off.  We can also tell when you crop out other girls / guys from your pictures.

Something else that irks me about profile pics is when people post pictures of their pets.  I think it is great that you have a 4-legged companion.  But, we're here to meet you, not your dog, cat, horse, fish, rabbit, etc.

Be honest.  Post a real picture of YOU.  It will become very clear very quickly if we ever meet in person that the person in your picture isn't you, or isn't you right now.

Regarding the actual profile text...  Yes, each site is slightly different in set-up, but bottom line, you need to provide information about you that hopefully is honest, interesting, funny, and eye catching so that other people want to get to know more about you.  Writing profiles can sometimes be challenging and difficult, but it doesn't have to be.  Ask your friends for help.  Ask your family members for help.  Ask someone for help.  Don't just write one word.  Or don't write nothing.  Please. 

My sister, Sugar Coat, is a genius at spicing up dating profiles.  A while back she gave mine the one over.  She didn't write it for me, but took what I already wrote and spiced it up a little, rejuvenated it, freshened it up.

For example, my answer to "the first thing people notice about me" was "I'm really not sure - you tell me!"  BORING.

My spiced-up answer was, "My round-off back hand-spring triple twisting triple layout… then my smile and my sparkling personality, of course."  SPICY.  And, completely honest.  I did gymnastics for 10 years.  Granted, I can't currently do a round-off back hand-spring triple twisting triple layout, but at one time, I could actually do a round-off back hand-spring back flip.  Can't do it any more, but I could do it at one time.

My answer to "the last book I read and enjoyed" was, "One of my favorite books is Catch 22 - read it a very long time ago, but it resonated with me. Cause & effect / what do you do / how do you react? Quite interesting. Loving Stieg Larsson's Trilogy - Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played with Fire, and just started Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Love Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, Charlaine Harris, Orson Scott Card. Basically love to read."  All true.  I love to read.  The answer was true to me, but not noteworthy.

My spiced up answer was, "Seriously? How much time do you have? I LOVE reading.   Some favorite authors are Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, and Kathy Reichs."  SPICY.  Still all true, still "me."  I love to read.  I have at least one book going at any given time, and sometimes two.

Sugarcoat worked some of her spicy magic on a good friend's profile.  My favorite line from the spiced up version is this, "So basically, if you are a quiet homebody who hates sports, we are probably soul mates."  I was literally laughing out loud when I read this.  It really speaks to her personality, and is super funny.  Very much her.

Bottom line, spend a little bit of time on your profile.  Let your personality shine through.  Use actual sentences.  Use spell check.  Ask someone to proof read it for you.  No one is perfect, and we all have the occasional typo here and there.  But, come on, if your profile is littered with errors, it is probably garbage.

Shameless plug time.  For my fellow on-line daters, or prospective on-line daters, if you would like some spicing up of your on-line dating profile, Sugarcoat may be able to help you out...  Sugarcoat is also an excellent photographer.  If you are in the Los Angeles area, and are in need of some AMAZING pictures that actually look like you and are current, drop her a line.  You won't be disappointed.  Send her an email here: spicyprofiles@gmail.com

Until next time, stay classy, stay real, stay you!  You are amazing just the way you are! 

Fun with Science! - Part 3

Adventure tale #11 (maybe the best one yet...)

So, I've written about my adventures with Molecule a few times (click here for part 1 and here for part 2).  If you don't want to read, or re-read those posts - here's Molecule in a nut shell:

• Met in February on eHarmony - really nice guy
• Always pays the bill despite my MANY offers to pay
• Saw Avenue Q with me and a few friends for our 5th date (I snuck and paid for dinner)
• Calls when he says he'll call
• Continues to ask me on dates
• A few sleep overs (but didn't go all the way)
• Came to watch the SF Ballet perform with me (and liked it)

The last adventure with Molecule that I wrote about was in late March and covered the SF Ballet date, which, when reminiscing, still brings a smile to my face.  About a week later, we had another date scheduled for a Friday.  I was going to meet him at his place for dinner and then watch a movie.  We hadn't talked about having a sleep over, but I wanted to be prepared for it in the event that I did stay at his place.  I packed a little "go bag" with tooth brush, some make-up, an outfit for the next day, and something to sleep in.  As I'm about to leave for his place, I texted him to let him know I was on my way.  He called me right back and we spoke for a few minutes.  He told me that he'd been thinking about it and thought that we should not have a sleep over that night because he was tired, getting over a sinus infection, and "didn't sleep that well next to" me yet.  I was a little taken aback, but let him know that it was fine, and that it wasn't a big deal.  It was slightly irksome to me - why wouldn't he want to spend the night with me???  So, I left my "go bag" at home and went down to his place.  We went to dinner and then back to his place to watch a movie.  Movie watching didn't happen because a major make-out session did.  It was GREAT!  But, at around 1:30am, I saw the time and said that I needed to get going if I wasn't allowed to stay (a subtle [or not so subtle] hint for him to invite me to stay).  It didn't work.  So, I got my stuff together and he walked me to my car.  Molecule held my hand the entire way, and hugged and kissed me and whispered in my ear that he knew it was hard (for me to leave, I guess) and that we were doing the right thing.  Regardless, I drove home (arrived at 2:15am) and called to let him know I'd made it safely, and went to sleep.  Great date, but a little frustrating about the non-sleep-over thing.  I even asked him about it when I was there...  I said, "I know you've said that you don't sleep well next to me yet a few times now.  Is that something we'd like to get better at?"  He said, "Of course I do.  That's the goal, right?"  I said, "I hope so."  We talked a little more about it, and I told him that it is hard for me to sleep well next to another person too.  He said that sometimes he gets caught up in the snuggling (he's a great snuggler) and forgets to sleep, then doesn't want the girl to get mad when he does turn over to go to sleep.  I told him that I love the snuggling too, but that we both need to sleep, so there's no issue for me in actually doing that.  We all need sleep.

The next week I had a business trip mid-week, and then a weekend trip as well, so we didn't see each other.  But we spoke a few times, and after each one of my flights, he checked to make sure I made it to my destination safely.  It was really cute...  These 4 flights took place right at the time that Southwest was having their planes inspected because of the one flight that had a hole in the cabin.  I was a little nervous to fly (and I'm not a nervous flier.)  My parents even called the night before one of my flights to see if I was still taking it, which made me even more nervous.  My dad is a pilot, and if he didn't want me to fly, then it probably wasn't such a good idea.  Parents and Molecule reassured me that I'd be fine.  Right before my first flight, Molecule texted me and told me to have a safe flight and to let him know when I landed so he could tell me I told you so.  I did land safely, and called rather than texted.  When he answered, he said "I told you so."  I replied, "Well, I'm actually contacting you from the afterlife.  Sorry."  He said, "Can you tell me the winning lotto numbers, please?"  I remarked, "No can do, sorry.  They made us sign a non-disclosure agreement upon arrival..."  It was a cute conversation.

The next week was a bit rough for me.  About 3 weeks prior, I bought 4 new tires for my car.  I went for a run early one morning before work, and walked by my car, parked in my carport directly under my apartment, and found that some sketchy individual(s) stole one of my 3-week old tires. 

Seriously.  My car was up on a crate.  I was kind of freaked out, pissed, scared, etc.  Lots of emotions that morning.  I called my insurance company, they sent a tow truck, and took my car away.  I emailed Molecule to tell him what happened.  He agreed that it sucked, and asked if he could help in any way.  I said I wanted a hug.  He said he'd be happy to give me one later that night.  He called a little later that evening (before his class) and asked if I needed anything before he came by later.  I told him a cookie would make me feel a little better.  When he arrived, he pulled a cookie out of his pocket.  So sweet!  We shared it while sitting on the couch catching up.

We made plans for the following weekend.  He wanted to go to Amoeba for National Record Store day.  I made some dinner reservations at Grub (YUM!).  I dropped the hint that since he didn't have class the next week (so no paper due) that he might want to spend the night - get some "practice" in.  He said probably.  This whole sleep-over thing was starting to become a hard sell.  So, date night arrives, he comes over (with an overnight bag!!!), and we went to the record store.  Walked around on Haight Street.  Went into one store with some really strange crap - but really, what store on Haight Street doesn't have really strange crap?  We were joking around about what he could get me for my birthday...  I pointed out one thing (very sarcastically), and he said he had a lot of time to think about before my birthday (and recited the date - the actual correct date of my b-day).  How did he remember that?  I was impressed.  After walking around for a bit, we came back to my place.  Had a spare 20 minutes before needing to leave for dinner...  A lot of things (good!) can happen in 20 minutes.  I went to dinner with a grin on my face.  We came back here after dinner, had some more good things (but still not the best thing), and went to sleep.  Woke up in the morning, had a little breakfast (actual breakfast) in bed, and then he left around noon.

The following Wednesday, I had a fundraising event to attend for the organization I volunteer with.  I invited him to stop by after his class that night.  He told me that he actually didn't have class that night so he could go to the whole event!  I thought it was pretty great that he would drive 40 mins to SF specifically to go to this event with me and some friends.  The event was super fun.  We had a great time (of course).  My friends seemed to get along well with him.  He even bought a round of drinks for us all!

The next weekend was Easter, and his parents were supposed to come up for a visit.  I had a visit with family in Monterey for the weekend.  Closer to the weekend, he let me know his parents weren't coming after all.  He was a little bummed out about it.  I re-invited him to Monterey with me, and he politely declined.  He wanted to get some rest and relax.  But, we made arrangements to have dinner on Sunday - that I'd stop by his place on my way home.  I knew he looked forward to an Easter basket from his parents, so I bought a few little goodies and put together a mini basket for him.  He seemed to really like it.  We had a great dinner (and I got to pay!).  He was very reluctant about letting me pay, but finally acquiesced and let me.  It was cute.  We went back to his place after dinner and had some fun.  And to my surprise, he asked if I wanted to stay over!  I told him that if he really wanted me to that I would.  He told me that he wouldn't have invited me if he didn't want me to stay.  So, needless to say, I stayed over.  And, we actually slept well next to each other!!!  I drove home super early on Monday.  He called me that night, and Tuesday.  And, he stopped by on Wednesday after his class!  He sequestered himself that weekend to write a paper.  But, stopped by after class the following week, and made plans with me for the weekend.

So, the weekend plans - this past weekend.  He invited me down to his place on Saturday for dinner and a sleep-over.  He said he even got me something!  A surprise?  I asked him what it was and he said it wouldn't be a surprise if he told me...  Then we joked that he got me a pink sparkly pony!  It was funny.  So, I drive down there on Saturday evening.  Wore a cute outfit (white jeans, taupe high heels, royal purple silk tank top, gold necklace, gray leather jacket).  I got there, and put my stuff down.  We chatted for a few minutes, then he wanted to give me my surprise.  We went out on his balcony, and he said he was very sorry but that my sparkly pink pony escaped and he couldn't find her...  Boo.  But then he handed me a little plant that he thought I'd like - it was a chocolate mint plant.  He said it reminded him of me because I love mint-n-chip ice cream.  So sweet!  We went to dinner (he paid), and then as we are leaving he says he has something planned for after dinner.  We went to this fabulous sculpture garden - was really pretty and romantic!  After we walked around for a little, we went back to his place.

We lit some candles, had some wine, a really good time, and lots of smiles.  We did manage to actually get some sleep.  In the morning, we had another really good time, and then some good snuggles.  I finally got the courage to ask if he was dating anyone else.  He said no - that's not how he roles.  He asked if I was, and I said no.  I asked if he wanted to date anyone else, he said no.  He asked if I wanted to date anyone else, and I said no.  He said, "should we just date each other?"  I said, "I'd like that."  So, whew.  That went the way I wanted it to.  Then I said, "So, there's one more follow-up question I have."  He said, "Oh boy."  I said, "It's not bad.  But does this mean you are my boyfriend?"  He said, "Yes."  I said, "Happy."  Then we kissed.

It's official, I changed my Facebook status today to:

 


Driving home on Sunday, I was giddy, still am.

What does this mean for my "Single in SF: Adventures in Dating" blog?  Well, I've still got many adventures to share in my journey to now.  And, I have a lot of friends who have had many many adventures in dating.  I'll be tapping them for some of their stories.  They've got some good ones.  Remember Bottomless Sundays?  There are more where that came from...

Until next time...

I'm sure I'll still be smiling and having more fun with Science!

Not a fan of Cigars

Adventure tale #10

So, I met Cigar on eHarmony.  He was 4 years older than me, a partner in a cigar bar, tall, tattoos, surfs, seemed cool.  We went through the guided communication process pretty quickly, and got to the email exchange.  After about 3 emails through eHarmony, we moved to using our personal emails.

The first few emails were pretty good.  He wrote mostly complete sentences, and used mostly correct spelling and grammar.  He seemed pretty interesting.  On his email address from his personal account, his full name showed, so I admit, I plugged the email address and his name into Facebook to see what, if anything, was there.  After the Chef debacle, I try to verify the people I potentially might go on a date with.  His email address brought up the page for the bar that he is a partner in.  I perused some of that page and then plugged in his name which brought up his own page.  Interesting person.  Uses a lot of profanity.  I use some too (who doesn't), but usually in a less public manner.  You know, employers and potential employers may do what I do and stalk potential hires on the internet, so I tend to be a little careful about what I post and the words I use.  I digress.  Back to Cigar.

So, he seemed interesting, and I was enjoying our email exchanges so far.  Each time I received and email and responded, it generally took him at least 3 days to respond.  I thought this a little peculiar given that Cigar has an iPhone, a computer, an internet connection.  Why the delays in responding?  OK, I have to admit that sometimes it takes me a few days to respond to emails too when I'm busy, but I guess if you are in a situation where you are trying to go on a date with someone, you might want to be a little more responsive.  That's just my opinion.

For example, Cigar wrote in one of our emails:

...So are you wondering what type of hours I keep as a bar owner, I bet you'd be suprised to know that I don't work nights and have weekends off, maybe you wouldn't but most think that anyone associated with a bar is all nights and weekends. I actually only work 4 days a week, which is still a little disconcerting being a workaholic.

Ok I could go on and on and on, but I want to spare your eyes, ( anybody told you, you have beautiful eyes?), would you like to exchange numbers and take it live? I'd like to but am cool with your timing, so let me know.

I responded and said that it would be nice to chat and gave him my number.  Guess what?  No call.  He responded to my email (you guessed it) 3 days later - it was a Monday.  He wrote a lengthy email (I was somewhat impressed), and answered one of my questions about what he does on his 3 days off every week.  He told me:

No real structure on days off, just me and friends time I guess. I'm off on Tuesdays which I like to spend for the most part doing lunch with friends, of course surfing is always, always on the ready if it's firing... Lately though I'm really trying to do things that I don't normally have an interest in doing, you know, like going to museums or even just walking and looking at things, probably sounds stupid, but I realize I'm getting older and more set in my ways and I'm not sure if I'm satisfied with just those ways...

I forget if you live here in SF and am quite honestly to lazy right now to look it up on evilharmony. I'm carless so the city would be best although I could do BART, like I said I'm off evenings so if you'd like to meet after six for a cocktail and a chat then let's plan something, if you've got time for lunch I'm free this Tuesday.  Let me know what you think.

Because it was Monday, and he was asking me out for the next day, I responded pretty quickly that day.  I told him I was busy for lunch on Tuesday, but that I could meet later that afternoon, and also gave him a few other options of when I was available.  Guess what?  No response.  He emailed me again on Thursday:

I'm forcing myself to take some time to reach out, not because there's some resistance, but I'm letting myself get busy and neglecting myself and friends all at the same time. Seriously, I wish there was like an extra pocket of time I could disappear too where nobody would know I'm gone but where I could operate out of the constraints of my schedule or whatever you want to call it.

Ok, Cigar.  You work 4 days a week, no nights...  What are you so busy with?  Surfing?  Drinking whiskey?  Smoking cigars?  Inquiring minds want to know...

His email continued with:

Ok time to climb out of the pocket and organize my day. It's funny because you live pretty close and it seems like you're a city away, so just thinking about how hectic we both seem right now, it's really easy for me to get over to your neighborhood and could meet you for a coffee before I go into the bar ( my customers can wait, if I'm late). Just trying to be pro-active in setting up a time to meet you, and like I said it seems like we're both crazy busy right now. Let me know what you think.

I responded that same day and and gave him a few days where I had availability to meet up.  Guess what?  He didn't respond for 8 days this time...

Finally time enough for a quick note. Between having a full scale battle with comcast (internet) and my crazy ass bar I have become a total recluse. I'm hoping you haven't given up on me and that maybe just maybe you've been as crazy as me. Would you care to try a redo and a possible meet?

I responded about a week later (2 can play this game, yes dating is a game) with a few more days I was available to meet...  Guess what?  I bet you can guess what...  No response.  For 15 days.  I said sayonara to Cigar.  Closed him out on eHarmony.  Ciao.  Goodbye.

The irony here?  Directly in his eHarmony profile, he answered "the most important thing I am looking for in a person is" question with - this is directly from his profile:

Reliability: You know hard things like following through with what you say you're going to do, that sort of stuff. Integrity is a hard trait to sum up but flakiness is the antithesis of integrity and if you're unreliable then you're flakey and that ain't no good.

Cigar, you need to practice what you preach.  Big time.

Having these adventures with guys and talking with friends who are having similar adventures really makes me wonder.  If a guy really wants to meet you, what's the hold up?  Granted, if a person really isn't interested, they usually cease contact.  But, at least for a time, Cigar kept emailing.  Granted, it was a little sporadic, but he kept coming back for more.  So, why the hesitancy to actually commit to a date and time?  Ding ding ding - commitment-phobe.  When you see it in writing, and can actually look back on it, you see patterns.  Suggest a day to meet, then don't respond.  Somewhat still interested.  Suggest another day, then don't respond.  Still, somewhat interested.  Suggest something vague, then don't respond.

Well, guess what Cigar?  I see your pattern.  If this is your modus operandi BEFORE we even spoke on the phone or met in person, I don't think I want to meet you at all.  Patterns tend not to change much.  I don't want to date a person who can't even make a date.

And, cigars are bad for you.  I like my health.  Audios.

Until next time...

Hook-up - do it, no way, or somewhere in between?

Adventure tale-ish #8 and #9

So, the hook-up.  Do it?  No way?  Or are you somewhere in between?  For a very long time I was on the "no way" train.  Hook-up with a random guy?  Not for me.  I've had countless discussions about this over the years with Sugar Coat (my sister).

I had sex for the first time when I was 20 or 21 - a little bit of a late bloomer.  I was with the guy I'll call Pager for a little over a year.  I was head over heels for him.  He was a lot less so for me.  I remember during one heated conversation with him he said something along the lines of "if I feel that you fall in love with me, I'm going to walk away.  I don't want a girlfriend, and I don't want to be in love."  Delusional, glutton for punishment me took this as a challenge, and I thought to myself "ooohhh - I can make him fall in love with me."  WRONG.  WRONG.  WRONG.  I should have walked away.  Of course I didn't.  I mean, who walks away from a challenge?  What I would have done for my sister to have been old and wise enough to say, "He's a loser.  He's not in to you.  Walk away."  Or to be experienced enough to see all of the numerous red flags myself and be strong enough to walk away on my own.  Oh well, we all need these "learning" experiences, right?

So, after things ended with Pager (short version - I moved to SF to go to college.  He said he'd never come visit me here.  So, that pretty much ended it), my sex life was a tad dry.  Around 4 years dry.  In college, I met a guy I'll call JR.  He was amazing - super cute, smart, athletic, and intelligent.  We had several classes together and would study, discuss our readings, and go over our papers and exams together.  I remember discussing Eric Foner's A Short History of Reconstruction.  Good stuff.  JR was kind of getting it on with a friend of mine, but that was somewhat short-lived.  He and I often had late-night conversations about all kinds of random stuff, and sometimes they would come to the topic of sex.  Until then, I had only been with one person.  I felt that sex should "mean something" and be with the person you love.  Since I had no one at that time who meant anything to me and wasn't in love, I wasn't having sex.  He maybe took that as a challenge and didn't walk away.  He said a few times that he wanted me to not be afraid of sex, not be afraid to feel good, and to experience it with someone else.  In one conversation that I wrote about in my old journal, the topic turned to sex.  I finally found the courage to ask him a question that I really had been wondering about for a long while.  I wrote this:

... Then he kept on talking to me and telling me to be honest.  Eventually I said, "you once asked me that if you didn't have a girlfriend, if you would have a chance and I told you yes.  Well, same question to you."  He said, "Damn!  Yes - I find you very attractive."  So that made me feel good...

After several such conversations, and who knows how long, one night - it was my birthday in 1997 - he called to wish me happy birthday.  It was late at night, close to 2am.  It was freezing that night.  He asked what I was doing.  I told him I was in bed under a lot of blankets shivering my ass off.  For some reason, I think I asked him to come over.  To my surprise, he did.  A brief synopsis directly from my journal:

He came in [my apartment / room] and got in bed with me.  We were just laying there.  Then we were facing each other and he was rubbing his face on mine and we started kissing and kissing and kissing.  It was rad.  My shirt and his shirt were off...  Then he spent the night.

I distinctly remember that night.  He rode his motorcycle over.  I was so nervous that one of my roommates would wake up.  He came in carrying his helmet and wearing this big black leather jacket.  Totally hot.  No sex that night, but I remember really enjoying myself nonetheless.  But also feeling strange that I felt so good doing things with someone whom I wasn't in love with and wasn't in a relationship with.

About a month after our first sexual encounter, we continued our friendship and conversations.  Somehow he ended up coming over the day before Thanksgiving.  We watched TV, talked, and then eventually kind of went to sleep.  I wrote in my journal:

... I turned over to go to bed.  Then he spooned me and put his hand under my shirt and on my stomach and I lost it.  We started kissing, he pulled my pants off, I pulled his shirt off.  Then he pulled his pants off and...  My god it was rad.  I can't wait for it to happen again!

Well, it actually did happen one more time and it was rad that time too.  I guess I consider this my first "one night stand" or hook-up.  Note here:  I was advised by my friend Sparkles that a one night stand is technically a hook-up with someone you met that night and NEVER see again.  So, I guess this wasn't really, truly, technically a one night stand.  It was more of the beginning of a friend with benefits.  Thanks Sparkles for your input!

My next hook-up came many many years later.  I was at a Christmas party at a friend's house.  I met a guy there who seemed cool, was nice, and we hit it off.  For some reason, I ended up leaving the party with him and driving him home.  We get to his place, he shows me around, then we started making out.  Clothes started coming off, and I remember him saying, "wow, I really like your ink."  (I have a few tattoos - apparently he liked them).  It seemed very comical to me because he kept saying it.  Some people have pet peeves and one of mine is calling tattoos ink.  Irks me every time.  So, we moved to the couch.  It was clear that he wanted to hook-up.  I was so nervous, I'm sure I was shaking.  I was having an internal debate with myself.  I could literally visualize a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  The devil wore the face of my sister (she really isn't a devil - just a lot more free than I was), and the angel was me.  My sister-devil was saying - just do it - it feels great - you deserve pleasure - don't over think it - you deserve it.  The angel-me was saying - you don't love him - you're not in a relationship with him - does he really want to do it with me or does he just want to do it.  Ugh.  Well, the sister-devil won.  I decided to just go with it.  I deserve to feel good and there is nothing wrong with that.

So, clothes came off, kissing ensued, and a relocation to the bedroom was starting to happen.  Somehow we fell down onto the ground in the hallway and stayed there.  Things happened and we were ready for the sex part.  Now, to provide the complete and comical visual - I was naked.  His shirt was off.  His shoes were still on and his pants were down around his ankles.  I ask him to get a condom.  He starts shaking his head and saying, "Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck."  (Yes, guy, that is what we're about to do.)  I said "What?"  He said, "I don't think I have any condoms."  I said, "Well this isn't going to happen without one."  He said, "Are you sure?  I'm clean."  I said, "Doesn't matter - no condom, no go.  I don't know you, and you don't even know me - you should want to use one."  He said, "If I can scrounge one up will that work?"  I said, "Not if it is some crusty, old, expired condom."  He said, "Do you really need one?"  I said, "Absolutely, yes."  He starts rolling and writhing around on the ground, pants around ankles, muttering to himself while shaking his head, "Fuck, fuck, fuck."  I took that as my cue to leave.  I rolled him off of me, put on my clothes, and pretty much ran out of his apartment laughing to myself.  In this (or that) day and age, what single person doesn't have condoms?  I was amazed.

On my drive home, I called my sister and said "Guess what?  I almost had sex!"  I told her what happened, we laughed uncontrollably about it, and she said she was proud of me for allowing myself to be pleasured even though it didn't go all the way!  Thinking about that night still makes me laugh - it was so comical.  I guess this one based on the prior clarified definition thanks to Sparkles is mostly, really a one-night stand - except not 100% because we didn't actually have sex... 

Over the years, the concept of the hook-up has become something less scary.  I mean, who doesn't like to feel good?  If someone is out there who is willing to help you feel good (in a safe way), why not?  As long as everyone involved is on the same page, are consenting adults, has equal expectations, just go with it.  Feel good.  Feel amazing.  Just don't feel bad about feeling good.  I'll address this some more in future posts, I'm sure.  I've got a few comical stories about other brief encounters.  And, I know my friends do too - I'll be hitting you up for some of them to share here too!

I'll leave you with this...  Feel good.  Be safe.  Not mutually independent things.  Put them together - like ice cream & chocolate sauce, peanut butter & jelly, orange juice & champagne.  Sex and condoms.  Yes, please, and thank you.

 

 Until next time!  Stay classy (and safe)!

Watch out for Red-light runners

Adventure tale #7

I met Red-Light Runner (RLR) on eHarmony in September 2010.  September was somewhat of a tumultuous month for me.  I had to move out of the apartment where I had lived for almost 16 years.  So, on top of a hectic work schedule, having to sort, toss, and pack 16 years worth of my life, and move, I was also still trying to date.

RLR lived just outside SF, but lived in the City for about a year.  We went through the guided eHarmony communication process somewhat quickly, then exchanged personal email addresses.  We had several email exchanges.  On about our 3rd exchange, he asked me out for the weekend to go check out the SF Museum of Modern Art (MOMA).  To add to the tumult of September, I went to Monterey for my brother's birthday, and agreed to meet RLR on a Sunday after I got home from Monterey.  It was one of those hot SF Septembers, and I remember calling RLR on my drive back to SF from Monterey.  I think I called him at around 12pm-ish.  I actually woke him up.  I let him know I'd be back in SF around 2:30 or 3, and could head out to the museum around then.  He asked if I wanted to meet him at the museum or if I would like him to pick me up.  I decided to let him pick me up, so I texted him my address.  He actually asked for directions...  That struck me as a little strange.  I was thinking, "why can't he just look it up on google maps or something?"  I told him that I didn't really know where he was coming from, so it would probably be best if he just googled it.

So, I made it home, changed my clothes (put on a cute black dress, flip flops, grabbed a purple cardigan, and a denim jacked just in case it got cool that night), and waited for RLR to show up.  About 15 mins after he was supposed to pick me up, he texted and said he got a little lost and would be to my place in about 5 mins.  I remember thinking, "he got lost?  Didn't he say he lived near me for a while?  Random."  So, he gets to my place, rings the doorbell.  I go down, he gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, opens the car door for me, and helps me into his car.  He was kind of visibly nervous.  He was also sweating - it was probably around 85 or 90 degrees and he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, jeans, and dressy-ish shoes.  If it is 85 or 90 in SF, that means it is warmer elsehwhere in the bay area, especially where he lived.  I remember thinking why is he wearing a long-sleeved shirt, it is hot outside.  I also thought he was cute and a little short.  I do prefer dating guys who are taller than me, but height isn't a complete deal breaker.  Whatever.  So, I get in the car and we begin our journey to the SF MOMA.  He didn't really know how to get there, so I directed him.  We parked, walked over to the museum, and began our foray into the world of modern art.  It was actually kind of fun - we walked around, talked about the various pieces of art we saw, and had a nice time.  After about 3 hours or so in the museum, we were both pretty much ready to get out of there, and we were both hungry.

We left the museum and were talking about where to go for dinner.  I suggested several places within walking distance of the museum, but he didn't seem receptive to them.  He said that he had marked some places in his other phone that was in the car.  Yes, RLR had 2 cell phones.  I thought it was a little strange.  Granted, I have 2 cell phones too - 1 is my personal phone, and 1 is my work phone.  But his 2 phones were both personal phones...  He used one primarily for navigation and web-browsing, and the other for phone calls.  In this day and age, isn't one smartphone sufficient?  Who knows.  So, we went to his car, got in, and he took out the 2nd phone whose battery was dead because he forgot to turn off the navigation...  So, he's like a fish out of water, can't remember any of the places he wanted to try for dinner, and was really nervous and flustered about it...  I suggested a few different places in the Mission, and we finally agreed on Luna Park.

He doesn't know how to get there, so I directed him.  As we are driving, we were talking about the museum and other stuff.  He was telling me some story about something, and when we were at around Mission Street and 14th or 15th street, he actually ran a red light - hence the nickname Red Light Runner.  THANK GOD there were no cars coming when he did that.  He didn't even notice that he had run the red.  I was kind of freaking out a little, and so thankful that we didn't get hit or hit anything.  It was getting more apparent that he was really nervous.  So, we got to Luna Park, parked in one of the public garages, and walked over to the restaurant.  Dinner was nice.  Conversation was a little strained - several awkward silences.  When the check came, I asked if I could contribute, and he said no, he'd take care of it.  Points for that.  Around 8pm or so, we had finished dinner and I was pretty much ready to go.  So, I remember saying "Are you ready to blow this popsicle stand?"  He said, "What?  I don't get it."  I said, "Are you ready to leave?"  He said, "Oh.  Yes, we can go."  So, we walked to the garage.  I paid for parking.  I direct him on how to get back to my place.  We were driving up Clipper, and he ran the 4-way stop sign at Clipper and Diamond.  Again, he had no clue that he ran a stop.  I was kind of flabbergasted.  He ran 2 stopping apparatus on our first date.  I guess he was just super, uber nervous.  I was at a loss for another alternative explanation...

He dropped me off, helped me out of the car, walked me to my gate, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Said he had a great time and would I like to get together again soon?  I said I had a nice time, and that yes, I'd like to get together again.  He asked me out for the next weekend, but that was the weekend before my move, and I knew I would have a lot of packing to get through.  I asked for a rain-check for after the move, and he agreed.  He then actually asked me out via email which was a little strange.  Problem was, I didn't check email until Sunday evening, and he wanted to do something Sunday -day...  I thought it a little curious that he didn't just call me to ask me out.  Regardless, we were finding it a little difficult to make plans to hang out again.

We continued to exchange a few emails here and there, but nothing really materialized in terms of a 2nd date.  I wasn't too torn up about it because I wasn't really sure I was interested in him romantically.  He seemed to be a nice guy, but his nerves really got the best of him on our date.

A few weeks after my move, I was starting to feel more settled and available for dating again.  I emailed him to say hi and see how he was doing.  He responded about a week later, said he was well, working up a storm and pretty busy.  We continued to stay in touch every week or so via email.  Again, life got in the way of scheduling another date - I got sick, then had a business trip.  Then he was busy, etc.  We eventually fell out of touch mid-October.

Randomly, I got an email from him in January of this year.  This is his email:

Hey there, do you remember me?  It's been like years! :)  Ok, not really but it feels like it.  If you would like to hang out again, I'm up for it.  I get so involved in my work, my personal projects, and my hobbies, that time just flies by - I apologize for not responding, even giving you a call (oh my gosh!).  And I hope you don't think of me as a yuppie, cause I would do what I do for free - as long as I had shelter and food :)  The last month I've been wanting to check out some Karaoke places, but my friends don't really do that (well, maybe if they were plastered).  I think I told you I'm a secret Eagles fan, and people have told me I can sing.  I wouldn't mind doing some Van Halen too :)  Anyway, hope you had a great new year at your new place?  Does it still feel new?
Cheers!

 I couldn't completely tell if it was a spam email or a real email.  The line about me thinking him a yuppie because he'd do what he does for free was random and kind of had me thinking it was spam.  But then he made reference to my new place and how it was feeling.  A spammer wouldn't know I had moved recently (or hopefully they wouldn't know that).  I responded to him with:

Hi,

Happy New Year!  Yes, I remember you.  Technically it has been a year, although not a calendar year...  Thanks for your note!  Do anything fun and/or exciting for New Years and the holidays?  I was with my family for about a week for Christmas, and then spent New Year's up here with friends.  I was also in Monterey with my brother and his wife & kids for Turkey day.  It's been fun.  Today was my first day back at work.  I had the last 2 weeks of the year off for vacation.  Totally didn't want to go back to work today, but alas, I need a paycheck!  Apartment is pretty much "there" though I still have some creative storage solutions to come up with, and some more stuff to donate to Goodwill.  I find that I have 2 VCRs - who even uses them anymore?  I'm keeping one, but need to get rid of the other, and somehow figure out how to transfer the few things I have left on tape to digital and I can get rid of the other VCR altogether!  Yeay!  How is work for you?  Photography?  Karaoke, eh?  I'm not a big singer myself, but would watch you sing!  Ha ha ha.  Let me know what your schedule looks like and we can make some plans!

Ciao!

I never heard back from him...  Very strange.  I guess my lesson learned here - if a guy runs a red light and a stop-sign on a first date, maybe that is fate's way of intervening - telling you to stop?  Who knows.

Moral of this story - don't run red lights or stop signs.  It is illegal and can be very dangerous.

Until next time!